Uganda News Satire, Parody and Spoof News

Chicken strike over use of eggs by Easter Bunnies


The Uganda Layers Association (ULA) has threatened to stage a demonstration against the Easter bunnies over the use of eggs for Human entertainment on Easter. The chicken say that the Easter bunnies take all the credit that they have not worked hard for and in the end, the hens that do all the donkey work are not rewarded at all. They (Chicken) are instead sentenced to slaughter and deep frying for human consumption.

This is Eggsactly what the chicken do not want.
This is Eggsactly what the chicken do not want.

“We are not going to take any more of this. These wakina bunnies should find other places to get their Easter eggs from. Why have they never picked Kalooli or ostrich eggs? Aren’t they big enough to hide in the gifts that they want to give those children .. huh?”, complained Nkoko Nkulu, a mother hen from Katanga.

The chicken claim that the Easter bunnies have taken enough from them and that the eggs they take are not kept well.  “They paint the eggs and hide them in cold places that do not favor them at all. They crample them in one basket and carry them carelessly. Many of us find it hard to lay eggs because we do not have enough males to help with the situation, but when we get the chance, we do it with all the love that we have and these Easter bunnies just come and take them any time they feel like. We are actually afraid to lay eggs during the Easter season.” Kuuk Lee, the association Treasurer said as he played Angry Birds on his iPad.

The Easter bunnies, who have no qualms whatsoever, go on and do as they please with the eggs in the name of Easter just to anger the chicken. They say, it makes them happy because the humans are happy.

“Look man, If the Ugandan chicken think we will give up on tradition that has been going on for centuries, they are out of their mind.” Stated Ronald Burns, the Easter Bunny president.

The chicken have organized a petition to call all the bird species and discuss on how to stop the bunnies from taking their eggs and find solutions to their everyday problems of being consumed by the Chicken mongers. They say that if they can’t come to an agreement with the bunnies on how many eggs should be taken, then they can as well fight so that none of their eggs are taken at all.
They especially commented on the fact that when these eggs are taken, they are not returned and their young ones are aborted due to the mishandling of the eggs.
“We won’t chicken out this time. We lose a big number of our own children and yet they don’t show any pity at all. So from today on wards  we are going to defend our own even if it means sacrificing many of our beloved and well bred chicken.” Said Maji Maji, the Demo organiser.

While organizations for the strike are going on, the Fight for Kalooli Rights (FKR) activists are busy coming up with ways to stop the impending evacuation of all Marabou Stork by KCCA from the city in the pretext of cleaning the city. “We are going no where” Kalo, the Head of Kaloolis in Kampala quaked. More of this to come with the help of our correspondent.

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