Corrupt Policemen announce massive discounts on bribes this festive season

The Uganda Corrupt Police Network (CPN) has announced a 50% off on all bribes this festive season to thank all their customers for the loyalty and support especially during trying times when anti-corruption activists wanted them skinned alive.

Kampala. Policemen under their umbrella organisation, Corrupt Police Network (CPN) have joined in celebrating this festive season by providing heavy discounts and attractive offers on bribes this festive season and various upcoming holidays.

Announcing the development in a press statement toda, Nguzi Jack, the patron of CPN said, “As a daily player in the lives and economy of Ugandans, CPN would like to extend an offer and thank all our victims customers for the loyalty and support they have given us especially in these trying times when most people are trying to eradicate us”.

“80% off on all bribes countrywide on any crime committed. This is a limited time offer and will expire soon.”, he added and went on to encourage other organisations to emulate them.

Similarly, starting tomorrow til end of the festive season, corrupt traffic police officials will be carrying swiping machines at traffic lights in all major towns for faster fine bribe payment, and have offered further discounts if one is using mobile money.

“See, don’t think that we are trying to make a quick buck,” a traffic cop on Masaka road argued, “It’s not like festive season sales where Kampala businessmen try to clear stocks. We also make a killing during such times, but we are offering discounts this people because we love and care about you.”

While ant-corruption activits have lambasted the discounts by CPN, all corrupt police officials the Amawulire reporter talked to claimed that they were making a “sacrifice” for the betterment of the society.

“This is the hefty price we are willing to pay to get accepted back in society, of late, a few people have been defaming us and trying to push us out of the system and society just because we are corrupt.”

“And yes, the offer is for everyone from all religions hence valid for all seasons – be it Christmas or Eid,” a corrupt police official on Kampala road person said.

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