Uganda News Satire, Parody and Spoof News

Every motorist to swear in the name of God before bribing Police

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Kampala. Following efforts by Ugandan anti-corruption activists to trap corrupt policemen, the traffic cops have come up with an innovative idea to counter such measures.

Speaking to Amawulire in Kampala, the head of Corrupt Officers in Uganda Police (COUP), AIP Kajja Nguzi said that from now on, they will be carrying miniature versions of various religious books Bibles, Quarans and others and will make a motorist swear in the name of God that he/she was not laying a trap for their arrest.

Trapping corrupt cops not an easy task

“Our mission is to encourage honesty in the practice of bribery,” said a visibly upset Nguzi as he organised a bribery refresher course for COUP on how to effect the new plan, “If motorists pay us bribes and then later get us arrested, is it not unethical? I don’t know why the Ethics minister has not come out to denounce such unethical behavior in our clients society!”

To make sure they nab the fake bribe givers, COUP has decided to seek divine intervention. “Any motorist bribing us will be asked to first swear in the name of their god .. to ensure that it’s not a trap,” an optimistic Nguzi explained.

A COUP member on condition of anonymity told our reporter that they have also contracted an IT firm in China to develop a mobile app called “Agawalai”, which will have digital versions of all the religious books. “Unlike what we see in courtrooms, where people swear in open, this will be an under the table process”, he added.

Experts claim this is gong to be a tough cookie for anti corruption activists. “They can’t ban religious books in people’s cars as this will be against their idea of secularism,” Professor Mukasa Johson, Makerere University said, “Maybe Ugandans can now learn from their leaders and take a fake oath, just like their leaders take a fake oath after winning elections.”

But the corrupt Traffic cops are ready for such. “We have imported breathalyzers  Lie Detectors from China to test everyone while they are taking oath,” Samson revealed.

“Whoever tries a fake oath will face the law wrath” he quickly added, “We welcome the honest bribe givers, who have been with us through thick and thin and we shall be revealing our new mobile money phone numbers for faster, hustle-free and safe money bribe transfers.”