Ethics Minister angered by Kaloli making love in public
Kampala. Parliament proceedings were disrupted for more than three hours after some members accused the government of not doing enough to control shameless Kalooli (Marabou Stork) making love in public places at various places in Kampala. These members led by by the minister who doubles as MP suggested that such immoral and irresponsible behavior by the pigeons caused embarrassment to the Ugandan families and had the potential to defile the minds of young children. Members wanted a law to rein in the offensive birds by regulating their aberrant activities.
“I can’t understand what good these obnoxious birds do to humankind? They eat food grains and poop everywhere, even on our heads. These crooks simply don’t care how their actions can affect us. Can you even imagine how disgusting it is when your three year old kid points to love-making Kalooli and asks you what are those birds doing? Is this the way we want our kids to grow and learn?” Buturo, argued angrily.Buturo further argued that tolerance towards such behavior by Kalooli has sent wrong signals abroad about accepted social norms in the Ugandan culture. He claimed that even the President Yoweri Kaguta Museveni has never kissed the First Lady Janet Museveni in Public who the hell are these birds that have no morals.
“Thank god Sevo does not know about this problem, god knows what would happen to me as ethics minister” Mr. Buturo lamented, drawing ‘shame shame’ calls from the Opposition members of parliament.
Following the pandemonium, the Inspector general of Police (IGP) assured the members that it will look into the matter seriously and find out ways to discipline the Kalooli and educate them about Ugandan culture. Starting with those around the Central Police Station (CPS), erring birds will be sent show-cause notices by the family Protection Unit of the Police, along with a statutory warning.
While the decision of the IGP has come under sharp criticism from some pro-Kalooli groups in media like KCCA who love the birds for helping a lot in ridding the City of garbage, many people welcomed the decision of the IGP terming it as a ‘relief’.
“I have been sick of these ubiquitous and iniquitous birds. They had once pooped into my icecream and I couldn’t even distinguish that shit from the cream. My fellow MPs made life hell for me after that, I’m still the laughing stock of my Constituency even. These birds have no sense or sensibility, they deserve to be punished.” said a female MP from central Region, though he couldn’t recall having been distracted or disgusted by love making of Kalooli while still studying at Makerere University.
Most of the MPs from the Opposition welcoming the government decision had problems with Kalooli poop, even though a majority of the MPs from the ruling party thought that Kalooli mating was ‘cool’. But they agreed that Ugandan children could have adverse impacts on their emotions if they saw Kalooli mating in public.
“They make eggs, what else?” said three year old Nakandi from City Parents School whenAmawulire correspondent asked if she knew what kalooli did by climbing over each other.