Frequent walkouts help Ugandan MPs get in shape

Kampala. Ugandan MPs across the political divide have confirmed that they were losing weight and getting in shape thanks to their frequent walkouts from parliament sessions in the recent days. The MPs are upbeat and are looking forward to more walkouts to get that perfect body. Special meetings of these MPs have been convened at a secret location to list out various issues upon which they can walkout at will.

Opposition MP Lukyamuzi angrily reacts after our reporter doubted if he had lost weight
Opposition MP Lukyamuzi angrily reacts after our reporter doubted if he had lost weight

“Hahaha .. It is fun!” confirmed an opposition MP, who has walked out of Parliament a record 256 times. “When stuff doesn’t sound good to our ears,  we surround the Speaker before we storm out shouting slogans. Can you imagine, how cool it that is?” added the MP in excitement.

According to well placed sources, most opposition MPs have lost at least thirty kilograms each in the last six months alone thanks to the frequent walkouts. They have also gained slimmer waistlines, can fit in their monster cars and some can now skip a rope.

“It’s rather unfortunate that most overweight NRM MPs have jammed to join the walkout protests. Most of these designer suits in my shop would have fit them”, said a fashion designer in Kiyembe, who offered to perform a complete makeover of the MPs.

However, the walkouts by the honorable opposition MPs have also attracted appreciation from some the NRM ruling party big shots.

“Finally parliamentary sessions are being put to some good use, else these walkouts and adjournments were wasting Tax payers money” said an Army MP, who had earlier advised the parliament to bring in the military Police and the Police canine unit to ensure routine business without any routine disturbances but later made a u-turn when he was reminded by our reporter that the Prime minister himself recently walked out Parliament during the passing of the Anti-Homosexuality Bill, the Attorney General, Peter Nyombi Walked Out Of Parliament Over ‘Rebel’ MP and worse still a group of NRM legislators onetime walked out on President Museveni at the party’s stormy Kyankwanzi retreat.

Opposition MPs surround the table on which the Mace rests as their NRM counterparts go through the Canteen Menu after passing the controversial Public Order Management bill.
Opposition MPs surround the table on which the Mace rests as their NRM counterparts go through the Canteen Menu after passing the controversial Public Order Management bill.

The banned 4GC pressure group too has expressed interest in sponsoring the walk-to-work walkouts, though they are not sure if they should call it “Walkout 2 Work” or “Work too Wack”. The activists group have agreed not to consult Police on this issue and contact the MPs directly with their offer.

Buoyed by the positive response and encouraging results, MPs from other political parties have planned to meet daily in the evenings to discuss issues over which they could storm out of parliament the next day.

“There a zillion things to disagree upon. Uganda is a multi-cultural society and I swear I am sure we can find new reasons to walkout.” said ruling party MP, who is hoping to get a six-pack by the end of the year.

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