Uganda News Satire, Parody and Spoof News

We will only dilute milk with mineral water – Milk suppliers declare

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Kampala – Faced with low sales and waning public confidence in locally supplied milk, milkmen in Kampala city have declared that they will only dilute milk with mineral water starting next month.

“We always dilute the milk with dirty watwr and most Kampala residents don’t trust river, lake or tap water supplied by National Water & Sewerage Corporation (NWSC). They claim it is contaminated with germs and impurities. We now agree that milk diluted with such water may not be safe for consumption and that is why we have taken this bold step,” Tumwesigye, a 38-year old milkman from Kanyanya told Amawulire as to why they went public with the announcement to sell diluted milk with mineral water.

It seems that their strategy is working as Kampala residents have welcomed the bold and honest step.

“We know that these milkmen add water to milk anyway, so it’s obvious that we will go with mineral rich diluted milk.” Nakawunde Sarah, a local resident of Bugolobi told Amawulire, “Moreover they have not increased the price of a litre, so we are getting more value for money.”

“It is exactly similar to the way we choose the least corrupt leader from a list of serial corrupt leaders with varying corruption levels,” Patrick, a resident of Mengo added.

Sources confirm that the milkmen have partnered with several mineral water manufacturers for their new strategy. However some residents are finding fault with such honesty and calling it a corporate stunt by mineral water companies.

“I was initially impressed with their honesty, but it seems that these milkmen are just another company selling mineral water,” Twaha, from Rubaga said.

However, the milkman our reporter talked to reject such claims.

“What is the problem with Ugandan people? At least we being honest in our work. Kampala residents deserve transparent milk and non-transparent milk suppliers” they said.