Kampala. Politicians, a force that pokes it’s nose in every thing in city affairs has thrown normal life out of gear for Kampala residents here. The City Authority (KCCA) reports that every single sewer pipe in the city has been clogged due to the massive shit that is always generated by politics.
The Society of Uganda Politicians (SUP) has been served with a legal notice by KCCA’s legal team for gross destruction and abuse of general facilities of the city beyond the endurance levels. They have been asked to explain their erratic shitting spree, which threatens to turn into an epidemic.
“All KCCA is saying is utter bullshit!” exclaimed an MP who is among those accused of releasing tons of utter stinking shit that has proved to be too much for city residents.
Uganda politicians whose antics go beyond the bullshit index have been asked to pay 100 million Uganda shillings after tax to KCCA for passing shit that collectively goes thousand times above what the total population of Kampala passes in busy day.
“We have used rates that any public toilet charges to the common man to take a dump,” Kazinda Mazimoto, an official from KCCA told Amawulire.
“They can employ any accountant to calculate the humongous amount of shit that they generate; I bet it will come to the exact figure we have calculated,” he added.
Mazimoto explained that normally KCCA charges 200 shs for residents to shit in Kampala and 100 shs to pee, but it went much beyond the normal levels in the case of all politicians.
“We have several events around the city daily, but the shit generated is under normal levels. In fact, during the KCCA Annual Carnival, people can really shit but guess what, we never have to deal with clogged sewer lines,” he said.
In their defense, politicians from all parts of Uganda in a statement seen by Amawulire.com have claimed that they have been passing such shit for over 30 years now and have never been accused of blocking any sewer pipelines earlier in Kampala.
“If the Kampala residents have been taking our shit for over 30 years, what the *beep* has suddenly gone wrong now?” a visibly angry politician argued, “They should make bigger and wider sewer pipes if they can’t take it, we are not going to stop this shit.”