KCCA to set up Pick-pocket Recuperation Centers

In a major move aimed at securing a moral victory over pick-pockets in downtown Kampala, the Kampala City Council Authority (KCCA) is planning to set up “Pick-pockets Recuperation Centers (PRCs)” in all major streets around Kampala.

Amawulire reporter got in touch with a KCCA official who, on conditions of anonymity, explained the hidden meaning behind this agenda.

“Since we got rid of street vendors and idlers, we suspect many people have become more idle and could dive into the thriving business of Pick-pocketing while those arrested have become very angry and are plotting revenge. So we are setting up PRC’s all over the city to outsmart them and counter their plans,” he said.

When asked how in god’s name this could be effective when there are urgent priorities like fixing the pothole riddled roads in Kampala, the official replied, “God knows when and where these pick-pockets will strike, so why waste so much money by fixing roads when the common man is being terrorized?. Instead we will build Pick-pocket and trauma recuperation centres. They will have all the facilities for pick-pocket  victims.”

“Also there will be a helipad on every street corner so that police can come to one’s rescue faster other than honking their way through the ever increasing traffic jam in the city. There will be TVs in all the rooms where the victims will be shown on Agataliko Nfuufu to show the pick-pockets how resilient the victims are. It can also be used as a the Government office to carry out development works like educating people about NAADs. Besides, think of all the money we can make.” he beamed.

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