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Man detained for blindly following traffic rules in Kampala


An unidentified 30-year-old male has been detained by Kampala Traffic Police for suspicious behavior after he was caught following all the traffic rules on Entebbe Road in Kampala. This is the rarest of the rare behaviors witnessed while on the potholed city roads, authorities confirm.

Addressing a press conference, Kampala Metropolitan Traffic Inspector Mr. Okello David gave a detailed account of how the “suspect” was nabbed, “I was driving to Nsambya Police Barracks after duty in my civilian clothes when I saw this car performing strange antics near Steers Restaurant. The driver was driving in a proper lane, he was giving indicator while turning and as well as while changing lanes, and surprisingly he gave correct indication each time!”, a visibly disturbed Okello revealed.

“Not only this, whenever the traffic lights turned red, he stopped at the faded zebra crossings near Shoprite to let the pedestrians, who were already crossing the road even when the traffic light was green, cross the road. And to top it all, he was well within the speed limit even on an empty stretch of road,” he added.

Okello David claimed that such behavior was highly uncommon in Kampala city so he stopped the “suspect” for questioning. Even though Okello was in civilian clothes and demanded to check the papers, the “suspect” didn’t panic or pretend to make any phone call to anybody.

“The jama just sat there and didn’t panic kabisa, not even once!” a visibly shocked Okello recounted the vivid details to the reporters at CPS, “At this point, I got suspicious and was like, this guy must have got something to hide, and detained him to investigate this matter further.”

While police is still interrogating the “offender”, sources in the CPS corridors confirm that the traffic department was more concerned about the “offence” than the “offender”.

A constable, on the condition of anonymity, told Amawulire, “What will happen to us if everyone starts following traffic rules in Kampala? Huh?, I will have to start withdrawing money from my salary account after all these years to pay for my expenses, mama baby’s salon and for my daily pot of malwa!”

Members of the Opposition have condemned this act and have blamed the President for this. An unidentified official said, “The economy is in doldrums and inflation is increasing day by day. The citizens  don’t have the money to pay for chai or bribe traffic police anymore, so they have started following traffic rules. He must resign taking moral responsibility for this incident.”

Amawulire is trying to ascertain if the detained man is the same guy who had switched off his mobile phone during a movie screening at a top Cinema in Kampala last week.

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