Uganda News Satire, Parody and Spoof News

Rolex successfully fried on benches of Ministry of Public Service

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Kampala. Employees from the Pensions Department at the Ministry of Public Service have created a new record of sorts by successfully cooking a Rolex on the benches warmed by people who frequent the ministry to seek their pension.

Rolex being served at the Ministry
Rolex being served at the Ministry

What started as a “Go Green” initiative undertaken by the Pensions Department at the ministry last year as a part of their annual corporate social responsibility, ended up with 2 delicious rolexes prepared on the ever hot benches.

The decision to use benches to cook food was taken after several pensioners had to be admitted to Mulago Hospital Intensive Care Unit for developing severe burns on their butts by warming benches for ages in their quest to get their pension.

“We just realised that the benches become hot enough to even cook mulokony food. We used to wonder despite AC running 24/7 where the hell was that heat emanating from. This incident opened our eyes and made us realize the actual source of heat,” said the Ministry’s Spokesman.

The idea to use benches to cook was fronted in a recent department meeting after employees agreed that pension seekers sometimes sit on the benches for over 11 hours without even shifting an inch: “There is this elderly man from Luwero who has been frequenting the ministry for 30 years and patiently waits the whole day. No sooner had he left than one of the employees poured cooking oil on the seat and voila! .. he fried a rolex of 3 chapatis and 4 eggs.

When the news reached the Minister, he could not hide the excitement: “This is a brilliant innovation. Not only are they patient pension seekers but have also contributed tremendously to cost-cutting regarding usage of gas and electricity to cook at the ministry. I have always believed that patient minds breed creativity. That’s precisely the reason why we make these people wait for ages so that they warm benches till they become red hot.”

Though delicious in taste, the Minister was not happy with the shape of the rolex and he tried to offer it to our reporter who politely declined.