Rules of my future woman
So you think you got rules? .. check out what this man has in his “rule book” for his wife.
1. My woman isn’t allowed to laugh at other peoples jokes even via social media. She has to send me the joke first and then we decide if it’s funny or not so we can laugh!
2. My woman isn’t allowed to sneeze in public. No need to say “bless you.” She’s already blessed, she has me!
3. My woman isn’t allowed to have candles on her birthday cake. WTF are you wishing for? All your dreams came true when you met me!
4. My woman isn’t allowed to defend another man when I’m talking about him. If I say he is a dumbass, he is a dumbass. She should say it with me, “He is a dumbass”
5. My woman is allowed only 3 men in her life: Me, her father and brother. If you got 2 brothers, pick your favorite one!
6. My woman isn’t allowed to talk to other men on phone. If she calls 911 or any other customer service line and a man answers, she better hang up and try again!
7. My woman isn’t allowed to spray perfume in public. I’ve seen the commercials. Those niggas come out of nowhere!
8. My woman isn’t allowed to talk to other men while I’m asleep. You’re not tired? Wanna talk to somebody? Say a prayer and get to know a bit more about God!
9. My woman isn’t allowed to pray silently. I want to know what you and God are up to. You might be praying to get another man!
10. My woman is not allowed to take a jog around the house; What is she trying to do? Practice how she will run away from me?
11. My woman isn’t allowed to touch another man. If you wanna touch him, you poke that nigga with a stick!
12. My woman isn’t allowed to go out with her girls. She might turn lesbian and leave me!