Sejusa letter, KCCA asks rats not to panic

Kampala. There have been worrying reports of mass exodus of rats from Red pepper and Monitor Publications offices triggered by the news that rats are now being arrested and detained in connection with the Sejusa letter.

The two company offices wore deserted looks as no rabbit-sized rat could be seen in the vicinity as the news swept like a wild fire across the the city. The Mayor convened an emergency meeting at KCCA offices, and immediately after the meeting called for the rat community to stay calm and should not be horrified by such incidents.

“I am saying as Mayor, there is no need for panic; necessary steps will be taken to arrest those who have spread propaganda and rumors which has led to this uncalled for mass exodus,” the Mayor declared.

A KCCA official, after a lot of liquor persuasion and on condition of anonymity, revealed why the Kampala City Council Authority was deeply worried by this exodus.

“There are estimated 43k rats settled in industrial area alone. As per their estimate they collectively consume about 69 tonnes of garbage per day and 900 tones annually. KCCA will have to spend lots of tax payers dime annually to clean this food waste, which we can’t afford,” the official told Amawulire.

Since KCCA needs rats, it has ordered an immediate inquiry into who spread “rumours” that led to this exodus. The role of social media is being investigated on a priority basis.

“We have reports that Facebook and Twitter were flooded with the rumors that rats stole and probably ate the Sejusa letter and there is no way the letter can just vanish. Some went ahead to claim that they spotted Ratatouille in industrial area a couple of days back and he knows a thing or two about that letter. We will act against all such persons,” The official warned.

KCCA is considering asking UCC to block some Facebook and Twitter accounts on this issue, though Government has distanced it’self from the rumours and has stated that social networks will not be blocked.

KCCA has failed to explain how such messages could have been read by the rat community, which apparently added to their panic.

The rat community has welcomed such reassurances from KCCA. “We don’t eat papers now days. Actually we stopped going to Redpepper offices to eat papers because we are not sure of the quality,” claimed a rat, Message from Namanve, “Kampala residents live affluent lives and throw ample of leftover food on the streets such as delicious rolex and kigere from wandegs, which works just fine for us.”

When Amawulire tried to contact Monitor and Redpepper for a comment, their known office phone numbers where switched off as the companys where closed by Police and are being treated as crime scenes.

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