Uganda News Satire, Parody and Spoof News

Speeding bodaboda cyclist launches into space after hitting pothole

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Kampala: It was a normal Friday afternoon until a very surprising and bizarre incident happened on one of the potholed streets in dusty downtown Kampala. A bodaboda motorcyclist, surprised and delighted on seeing an empty one-way path road in Kampala for the first time in days, decided to test the speed limits of his motorbike while coming down the wrong way of the one-way route.

Despite using the same road for years but never managing to reach 10km per hour on his bike, the bodaboda rider did not realize that there was a huge pothole right in the middle of the road. The motocyclist hit the gaping pothole at neck-breaking speed and launched into space.

A bodaboda cyclist takes flight in an earlier unpublicised incident

An eye-witness, Musa Mawaya, an electrician who was illegally reconnecting electricity on a building said, “I was electrified! .. First I thought that I had touched a naked electric live wire hanging from these old leaning Umeme poles next to me, kumbe it was the excitement of seeing the ninja fly!”.

The downtown public was exhilarated when they suddenly saw the motocyclist defying gravity and disappearing like a rocket in the air. “I was stunned .. My legs are still shaking!” said a taxi tout.

The incident shocked many that some thought that it was a shooting star and started wishing. “I pray for my monthly salary to come on time!” said Opio Bosco, a Traffic Police cop on Luwum Street when asked about his wish.

Several people who usually use taxis told Amawulire how they often jump 4-6 feet in the air every time the taxis hit this same pothole.

“Despite the head injuries I have sustained before.. It is so much fun today, I always knew this pothole was up to something,” said an emotional bandaged passenger waiting for a taxi.

Amawulire spoke to a rookie pickpocket who plies his trade along Burton street and he said “I saw him disappear in to the pothole, emerged 3 seconds later and shot into the skies. I witnessed the incident with my own weed eyes”.

Meanwhile the family of the cyclist has demanded clarity on his whereabouts from Uganda Police which has been busy trying to trace the progress of the cyclist. “We are trying to determine the speed and angle of the launch. We ask the family to remain calm. We suspect the bodaboda guy may not have been at a sufficient speed enough to reach the moon. We are also in touch with Uganda airlines across the region to let us know incase they come across him in the skies” said the Police in its official statement released after trying to trace the cyclist using binoculars. Efforts to deploy the Flying Squad bore no fruit.

However KCCA which is responsible for maintenance of roads in Kampala has taken the entire credit for this astonishing incident.

“We were confident that we can find a cheaper way to send people to space. The roads in Kampala were designed with craters and humps to help us achieve this dream and today we would like to invite NASA to learn something from us,” said a KCCA official.

Meanwhile, NASA has decided to send its topmost scientists to Kampala to study the road structure and find out how the city has been able to provide such realistic long lasting potholes launchpads.