Teary-Eyed Money Lenders Proudly Watch As 900M Assets Swear in as MPs

Kampala — Unable to contain their emotion when they heard the names of their clients called out loud during the swearing in of Members of Parliament, a group of teary-eyed money lenders and sharks proudly looked on Monday as their almost a billion balance sheet assets each took oath, witnesses confirmed.

“Its happening! and it’s been absolutely amazing to watch my revenue stream grow right before my eyes,” said smiling loan shark based in Mbarara, explaining that, looking at the impressive figures now, he could hardly believe his future series of principal and interest payments was already at 100M in just 2 months.

“This is such a big day and milestone, but to be honest, it’s really just the beginning. We’re all looking forward to seeing how our beloved assets progress now that they have sworn in. Who knows where our clients will be 20 years from now?” The head of Uganda Loan Sharks (ULS), Mr. Sankara Mukasa went on to express his hope that they’d one day be able to see their clients become ministers which would call for a higher interest rate as per the agreements signed which he later confirmed none of the MPs read.

“We are also not happy with the Ugandan media, they have portrayed us as money hungry vultures to create a rift between us and the ordinary broke Ugandan”, Mukasa told Amawulire later on phone.

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