Uganda News Satire, Parody and Spoof News

Unable to effect Seatbelts & Helmets, Government introduces prayer before boarding

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In wake of another report highlighting the increase of road accidents in Uganda, Government has decided to encourage passengers to pray first before they board.

In an interview with Amawulire, an unreliable government source said the move is to encourage passengers to pray to whatever god they believe in and ask that they arrive safely at their destination.

“We don’t really know what else to do at this point,” said a government official. “We want every Ugandan to have peace of mind and do everything possible to ensure a safe and comfortable journey across the country.

“We’ve created world-class potholes roads with an excellent well trained corrupt Traffic Police force. But I guess sometimes that’s not enough. We’re looking for all the help we can get.”

Government has contracted Kampala-based IT firm, FlyOnline Ltd to create the media campaign. President of the company Brian Tumusiime says it was an unusual request.

“It was an interesting proposition for us. We have done dozens of media campaigns for government and but this is the first of the kind we have been asked to do,” Brian said.

“I think it’s a good idea,” says Apio Janet. “I pray before I board a taxi  going upcountry anyway but if more people join in, the better chance we have of surviving on the city roads.”

Byaruhanga Jackson, a bodaboda cyclist near City Square on Kampala road who has never used a helmet since 2007, told our reporter, “I don’t think praying is going to do much. I figure the potholes and dangerous mechanical cars are praying too. But it is a nice gesture on the part of the Government. Now only if they would allow us to carry more than 5 people at once.”

Some passengers are always looking for price value. a downtown native Tyson Kasule, who owns a DMC taxi with no seat belts at all, told Amawulire, “I don’t really care either way. The corrupt Traffic Police always makes  money anyway and as long as they allow my DMC back on the road with no driving permit, I’m good.

“What they should really do is hand out free pain killers so if something bad happens you won’t even feel it.” He concluded.