Uganda News Satire, Parody and Spoof News

We’re not intimidated – Corrupt Ugandans tell off President

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Kampala – Corrupt Politicians in Uganda vowed yesterday they will not be intimidated by the President and his old new cabinet over his zero corruption tolerance threats and will continue their work, including swindling and taking bribes.

But they have warned other corrupt people allover the country to refresh their corruption techniques and the new kids on the block must always consult their corrupt elders first in the wake of several of their cohorts being caught red-handed in the act in the last 30 years.

The Uganda Corrupt Diehards (UCD) spokesman, Dr. Nguzi Gerald said a reminder on new skills and safety guidance has been sent out to all corrupt people in Uganda and those in th3 diaspora through their weekly newsletter.

A corrupt government official in the Ministry of Public service said: “I know everyone in Public service is now scared. We’ll be reviewing our tactics and security, but We’ll lay low for a while for the dust to first settle.”

Odwek Jackson, a corrupt traffic cop along Masaka road said: “I am not scared at all. I plan to keep to all my engagements today, including taking bribes.”

A corrupt member of Parliament Amawulire talked to said they would continue their constituency corruption work undeterred.

The MP on condition of anonymity said taking bribes was “risky and unavoidable” but whatever the risks they should not “let it stop you from being the effective corrupt MP that your constituents deserve.”

He added that MPs are soon passing a law that will stop them from being descriminated against. “All of us will tell you it’s so important for MPs to be embedded in the community that we represent so as to preserve Uganda’s stay at the helm of the most corrupt countries in Africa.”

When Amawulire talked to an MP from Jinja, he said: “We mustn’t let the actions of this one man drive a wedge between leaders and the people we were elected to serve.”